Life in the Australian Army - Brilliant!!

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ckkalyan
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Life in the Australian Army - Brilliant!!

Post by ckkalyan » Tue Sep 15, 2015 12:54 pm

Life in the Australian Army...

Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland)

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the station - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone!

I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform.

No bloody horses to get in, no calves to feed, no troughs to clean - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or goanna stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez it’s only just like walking to the windmill in the bullock paddock!!

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody dingo's ar*e and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of piss!! You don't even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!

Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.

Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.

Your loving daughter,

Susan


ROTFL
When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns!

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brihacharan
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Re: Life in the Australian Army - Brilliant!!

Post by brihacharan » Tue Sep 15, 2015 1:09 pm

OMG.....
Reading through & enjoying the drift I thought the kid in the ARMY was a Jack, Jason or Jerome....
But SUSAN got me rolling on ma belly!!!!!!!
Good One CKK!!!!!!!
Briha

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ckkalyan
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Re: Life in the Australian Army - Brilliant!!

Post by ckkalyan » Tue Sep 15, 2015 1:42 pm

Glad you liked it brihacharan-Ji - thought it was a pretty good one myself - tickled me rolling! ROTFL
When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns!

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Re: Life in the Australian Army - Brilliant!!

Post by SMJ » Tue Sep 15, 2015 2:16 pm

ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL

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Re: Life in the Australian Army - Brilliant!!

Post by aadhaulya » Tue Sep 15, 2015 6:58 pm

Wow, a brilliant piece after a long time. :D

Atul

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Re: Life in the Australian Army - Brilliant!!

Post by xl_target » Tue Sep 15, 2015 9:53 pm

Hehehe!
“Never give in, never give in, never; never; never; never – in nothing, great or small, large or petty – never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense” — Winston Churchill, Oct 29, 1941

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Re: Life in the Australian Army - Brilliant!!

Post by TwoRivers » Tue Sep 15, 2015 11:37 pm

Good one! And the bottom line is the icing.

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Re: Life in the Australian Army - Brilliant!!

Post by Hammerhead » Wed Sep 16, 2015 5:55 am

What da ......... that bad !!!
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. - Edmund Burke

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Re: Life in the Australian Army - Brilliant!!

Post by sa_ali » Wed Sep 16, 2015 1:07 pm

ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL ROTFL
Its a killer

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Re: Life in the Australian Army - Brilliant!!

Post by jatindra Singh Deo » Wed Sep 16, 2015 1:33 pm

hahahahaha !

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Kumarnishith
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Re: Life in the Australian Army - Brilliant!!

Post by Kumarnishith » Wed Sep 16, 2015 9:03 pm

Lolz...awesome :lol:

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ckkalyan
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Re: Life in the Australian Army - Brilliant!!

Post by ckkalyan » Thu Sep 17, 2015 10:31 am

Glad you all loved it! :D

Fair Dinkum, Mate!!? :cheers:
When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns!

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